You may think it's funny but it's snot.

Whenever we got sick in my house my mom would always say, "Don't kiss your honey when your nose is runny- you may think it's funny but it's snot." But it most definitely isn't funny when your honey is the one that gives you the snots.
Let's be real. Being sick is the worst. And everyone is particularly vulnerable at this time of year. It's cold outside. It's flu season. Everything is super crowded. The mall is crowded with people trying to get gifts for everyone, and maybe you're lucky enough to have some family staying with you in your house. With your tiny snotty cousins. Sucks for you.
Anyway, I'm gonna share with you some tips. I learned from experience. And if any of you guys have any remedies that work for you, please share.
1. Keep some hand sanitizer with you at all times. I know it kinda looks dumb to have it strapped to your belt loop whenever you need it like some geeky cowboy, but it looks dumber to have snot pouring out of your nose or to be praying to the porcelain gods for mercy on your poor burning esophagus. Use your sanitizer after you touch doorknobs or books and especially computers. The best cure is prevention. Wipe down your phone once in a while. Nothing is safe.
2. Vitamin C. My method of choice is cranberry juice.
3. If you feel something is off with your body, go on full attack mode. Pretend you're already sick. You can never be too safe.  Earlier this year everyone around me was sick and I was scared when I felt like something was wrong in my throat. So I got a bunch of honey lemon Halls and popped those suckers one after another. I was feeling pretty good within a few hours. And my mouth felt fresh and not like death was upon it. It says on the package that they're oral antibacterials or something like that. That explains a lot.
4. Don't drink milk if you're feeling mucousy. It makes it worse. This is the one time drinking a room temperature soda would be better.
5. Drink plenty of fluids. Flush out all the bad stuff.
6. Drink tea as hot as you can handle it. It might hurt but it feels good after.
7. Spicy food will clear you out.
8. Eat a lot of garlic. Eat enough to kill a vampire. My mom makes a killer chicken noodle soup and I swear it has magical powers.
9. If you're feeling stuffy and nothing'll come out, get a Neti pot. It's like a watering can/ teapot for your nose. Water comes up through one nostril and out the other, along with some serious snot. I know it sounds gross, but it's magnificent. You'll feel a lot better after you finally do it. You'll be able to breathe through your nose for a while. And it's not so bad if you know you can take a shower after you do it.
10. Don't snort. Better out than in. Also, I really hate that sound. It really grosses me out. Just blow your nose. And if you have to cough it up, so be it. Just do it out of earshot.
11. Zinc. I know it sounds weird, but zinc is know to shorten colds and lessen symptoms. There's this stuff called zicam that you can either swab up your nose or take in a dissolvable tablet every few hours.
12. Stay up to date on your vaccines. There's absolutely nothing dangerous about them. It's safer for everyone around if you get them.
13. Stay home if you get sick. We love you. But we'll love you from a distance until you get back. Don't worry about catching up with school work. We got your back. Just relax and watch Disney movies and sleep.
14. I don't know about you guys, but Mucinex really works.  You really only need it twice a day. I take the big tablets. The sooner you get all that snot out your system, the better.
15. If you have stomach issues, even if you know you're about to blow chunks, take some alka seltzer or at the very least some Tums. They'll settle your stomach and if you gotta spew it won't burn because it neutralizes your stomach acid.
Thanks for reading. Stay classy.